


revenge is a dish best severed by an asshole in a metal suit

by Coal_burningbright



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All of Peters friends are little shits, Another Field Trip Fic, BAMF Michelle Jones, Everyone is little shits, FRIDAY is a little shit, Field Trip, Gen, I just finished that one now im writing another crack au, Michelle Jones is a Little Shit, Ned Leeds is a Little Shit, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Shuri is a Little Shit, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, tony stark is a little shit, yes that's right - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coal_burningbright/pseuds/Coal_burningbright
Summary: Peter never thought his incorrect quotes blog would come back to haunt him like this, but now his school has a field trip to stark industries. You know, only the place he's been living for the last two years.Featuring all the characters being little shits.First chapter is short and kinda trash but it was necessary to set up the story
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker & Shuri, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Shuri, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 42
Kudos: 247





	1. Friday is a snitch

Overheard-at-Stark-Tower.tumblr.com

Post 2876

Nick Fury (To Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes): So you'll handle the threat

Sam: Yeah, we'll handle it

Fury: For how much?

Bucky: I don't know, fifty?

Fury: Fifty Grand?

Bucky: *spits out water*

***

Peter added the final tags and then he clicked post. He was so focused on the computer he didn’t notice Tony until-

"What are you doing on the computer?"

"Nothing!" Peter said slamming the laptop closed after clicking command-w quickly

"Really?" Tony said, raising one eyebrow

"I was,” Peter scrambled for something “I was watching porn?"

Tony _laughed_ "Friday, was Peter watching porn?"

"No. Peter was posting to his 'Overheard at Stark Tower' tumblr account with over 23,000 followers” 

“Friday you snitch”

Peter had kept the account secret for almost three years, it had started when he was just going over to the tower occasionally but now that he was living there full time the account was gaining new quotes every day. He was pretty sure Nat knew about it because he had been sent anonymous footage of all of Clint’s dumbest moments. 

“Peter.”

“Tony, I’m sorry. Really though, if you didn’t do dumb things-”

“I’mma stop you right there kid. Friday, open up the account on my computer. Peter, we will talk later.”

***

In punishment for making the account and spreading all sorts of quotes out into the public Tony knew he needed to do something big. Something that would make Peter die a bit inside. Something that would make Peter feel like Tony had when he had seen the quote 

‘Tony Stark: I’ve drank all my badass juice for today *walks into door*’” 

**It wasn’t his fault okay! He was distracted.** He did so many great things he was allowed to be lost in thought. He did enjoy a few other quotes, the only Avenger spared was Nat.

***

“And Friday just told him?” Ned was in tears laughing at his friend. Peter scowled 

“And he said there would be consequences today at breakfast.” 

MJ was drawing Peter’s face. This was going in their ‘Best Moments’ file.

“Shuri, take my side.” Peter pleaded. 

Shuri and Peter had been friends for almost two years, they had hit it off in Mr. Starks labs when Peter had created a simulator of the iconic “this bitch empty” vine where you could experience it from the cans point of view. From there their relationship had grown through working in the labs and, when Shuri went back to Wakanda, video calls till late at night. He had introduced her to Ned and MJ after a while but now he was regretting it as he heard evil laughter from her side of the call.

“No can do Spidey-Pete”

“For the love of god stop calling me that _please_.”

“Nope!” 

Peter hated his friends.

***

“-And so we need to do something big.” Tony finished his presentation. He was sitting on the counter while the other inhabitants of the tower (minus Peter) listened to him. 

“We could start an account about him?” Clint suggested. He seemed more mad at the fact he could trace a lot of the quotes back to Nat than the fact Peter had posted them online. 

“He includes his own.” The world had found out about Peter a year ago when a post about ‘Starks Secret Son’ went viral. Tony had explained Peter was simply a genius who had been his intern and was not set to take over SI. That had caused more buzz but the fact no one had pictures of, (as Peter referred to himself in the account) Stark Intern, helped Peter’s anonymity. 

“Peter’s school is planning a field trip soon but the place they were going to go to just pulled out. You could bring his class to Stark Tower, he’s planning on telling the world who he is in a few months and the trip would be a week or so before that.”

“Nat, what are you saying?” Tony asked cautiously.

“Embarrass him.”

Tony couldn’t argue with that plan, so the Avengers began to scheme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the quote is from https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/chloesimaginationthings/189355664199


	2. They'll never know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter panics over the field trip but is reassured, the author laughs at Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few will be short before the real story starts! Shout out to my math grade for making this possible by going from a 30 to a 70, thank all gods!

Overheard-at-Stark-Tower.tumblr.com

Post 1283

**Tony:** you’re going to be fine!

**Stark Intern:** really?

**Tony:** no, you’re probably screwed but good luck anyways

****  
  


Peter swore his Spidey-sense must be malfunctioning. That was the only explanation as to why he hadn't been warned about this. This was worse than any villain he had fought. He must have been a murderer in some former lifetime, that was the only possible reason as to why the universe would do this to him. 

“It’s just a field trip.” Ned tried to reassure his friend, gently patting him on the back. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

“My only hope is that Tony doesn’t know.” Peter knew it was a long shot because it was his school but Tony hardly ever paid attention to field trips. He could have Clint sign his slip, he’d understand. Besides, the trip wasn’t for another three weeks. He’d be fine.

The whole incorrect quotes thing had blown over- Tony hadn't brought it up or told anyone about it and now that a good month had passed Peter felt safe to post again. He had just posted his newest quote ( **Bruce** : That's your fourth cup in an hour. You need to slow down.

**Tony** : Coffee cures depression.

**Bruce** : No it doesn't. Where did you hear-

**Tony** : More espresso, less depresso.) when the comments started pouring in. He answered a few with general things, “I had a thing going on that kept me busy, I’ll be more active again now.” And closed the computer. He was glad to be doing that again. 

***

“That’s a go, we have confirmation” Sam called into his comms unit, staring at the newest posts on Peter’s blog. “There’s one new post about us and three answers to questions about where he’s been.”

“Did he say he was afraid of retaliation from the Avengers?” Tony joked, “Or did he say he had mono.”

“Mono would be a pretty stupid excuse.” Bucky said, adding a cough that sounded a bit like “Especially if you were a super soldier who  _ doesn't get illnesses  _ **_Steve_ ** ”

“Not dealing with your relationship drama during missions Buck.”

“Last week you talked with Sam about how annoying I was for the entire time we were fighting that slime.”

“He had some valid points.”

“One of the points was just him asking you to make my arm magnetic again so he could stick things to it!”

“And I did and now you have a cool magnet shaped like the Winter Soldier! So really it worked out for everyone.”

“Back on task everyone.” 

“Fine,  _ Nat _ . I couldn't help but notice  _ you  _ weren’t mentioned on the blog.”

“You better not be implying anything more than I am too willing to kill you if you keep with this line of questioning. Now focus on the damn mission.”

The Avengers got back to work, preparing to annoy the hell out of one (1) teenager. 

To be fair he deserved it.

***

Peter Parker didn’t deserve any of this, if someone put him in the cinnamon roll meme he would be “looks like” and “acts like” a cinnamon roll. He was too good for this.

MJ laughed at him. “You know it probably isn’t good for your karma to talk about how good you are.”

“I should be complaining  _ more _ if anything. My classmates all think I don’t have an internship and we’re going to go and I’ll have to either say ‘yeah I have one you guys prove it’ and blow my cover or tell them ‘no I don’t have one’ and then one week later they find out I’m Stark Intern.”

“That does seem like a challenge.” MJ says sympathetically, and Peter looks up in hope before they continue “Sucks to be you I guess.”

“MJ!” 

“It’s the truth. Also It’s not that bad actually, maybe you can fake sick? Or just lose the permission slip. Or you could just forge a signature and then Tony will never know.”

“Get out of here with your  _ logic _ , this is a place of moping.” MJ smiled and Peter took a deep breath. Yeah, he could do this. Now to just make sure he could keep a houseful of spies and secret agents from finding out about a field trip while also figuring out what he was going to say to his classmates and also preparing to reveal himself to the world. 

May would have known what to do, but she had died almost three years ago. Peter still missed her a lot, she was like a mom to him after all, but now he was more at the point where he remembered her fondly and it only hurt sometimes. 

Anyway where was he? Oh yes, his impending doom! It would probably be fine, but he needed to get supplies. A bulletproof vest maybe? Peter wasn’t going to take any chances, now to make sure none of the Avengers learned of his field trip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos and comment if you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos and comment! A minute of your day makes my week! (and I need the serotonin with school starting)


End file.
